Group Call
by The Jam Man
Summary: Neku has no idea what to think when he's thrust into a multi-dimensional fighting tournament for seemingly-no comprehensible reason. Fortunately, his friends have lots of helpful advice to offer. And a lot of stupid advice, too. TWEWY Codec Calls, because Neku in Smash would complete my life. It's Spoiler-free!
1. Mario, Luigi, Peach

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! This is my attempt at some World Ends With You Style Codecs! These will take place through group calls, with different characters showing up in each. I would've loved to see Neku in Smash, though it was really unlikely anyway. I guess all I can do now is hope for DLC and write self-satisfying fan fiction. This fic is pretty much spoiler-free. There will be a few references to things in the game, but I'll keep them vague. So, let's begin! Enjoy! **

_Neku, like any sane person, had no idea how to react when he was invited to the "Super Smash Brothers Cross-Dimensional Fighting Tournament. Though, much persuasion, and assurance of the tournament's legitimacy, mostly on Joshua's part, led to him leaving Shibuya to participate in a fighting tournament he knew nothing about. Fortunately, he thought to bring his cell-phone, in case he should need to contact any of his friends for advice. Unfortunately, their advice isn't always...good._

First Call-Introduction

Neku: "Hey, guys! You hear me?"

Shiki: "Whoa! Neku, is that you?"

Neku: "Of course i-"

Beat: "Ay, sup, Phones? How's that tourney goin', man?"

Neku: "To be honest, it fricking su-"

Rhyme: "Did you meet anyone new? Trips are all about meeting people!"

Neku: "Just a bunch of weirdos who are constantly trying to kill m-"

Joshua: "It's fortunate you called, dear partner. I fear my life was becoming awfully dull, what without your constant sunshine to brighten it up."

Neku: "Ok, I don't need to listen t-"

Shiki: "Oh, hey! What're they wearing over there? Could you send pictures?"

Beat: "How're you even gettin' cell phone reception ova' there, dawg?"

Neku: "Can I say ONE thing?"

Shiki: "Oh! Uhm...sorry.."

Neku: "Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm guys, but I DID NOT call to chat right now!"

Beat: "You trippin' or what, man?"

Neku: "N-no! I just need some...assistance. (Uh, that's a word for it...)"

Rhyme: "Assistance...?"

Joshua: "This should be good."

Neku: "Ok, I'm in the middle of a freaking brawl here, so I gotta make this quic-"

Shiki: "Wait...you're calling us from a battlefield?"

Rhyme: "A distracted marksman never hits his target, Neku."

Beat: "Dude, you gotta be trippin' or somethin', dawg!"

Joshua: "And I'd pegged you a better man..."

Neku: "CAN ALL OF YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME?"

All: "..."

Neku: "Good! Now I'M in the middle of a fight in this weird Smash Brothers Tourney and I have no freaking idea how to go about fighting any of these wackjobs!"

Joshua: "Ah. So you called us for a bit of advice then, correct?"

Neku: "...Yep..."

Joshua: "My, my. I'm fairly certain this would be considered 'cheating' in a professional environment, Neku."

Neku: "Nah. Everyone here does it. There's this one kid who literally contacts a fricking goddess for her divine wisdom or some crap like that."

Shiki: "Uh, well, in that case..."

Joshua: "I'd be happy to be your almighty goddess, Neku. ;)"

Neku: "Dang it, Josh!"

Joshua: "Heh heh heh..."

Rhyme: "That...'comment' aside, I'm sure we'd all be happy to help you out Neku! It's what friends are for!"

Beat: "We got'chu, man!"

Shiki: "Wait a minute! How would we know about fighters in a trans-dimensional tournament?"

Beat: "Google?"

Joshua: "Something tells me that wouldn't quite suffice..."

Beat: "Don' knock it till ya try it, yo!"

Neku: "Don't worry. I'm absolutely sure you'll be able to help."

Shiki: "That's kinda cryptic, isn't it?"

Joshua: "And cryptic sayings are typically my forte..."

Rhyme: "We'll do our best to help out, regardless! Right, guys?"

Beat: "Time fo' some teamwork, son!"

Joshua: "Anything for my dearest partner..."

Shiki: "Well, I'll try, Neku..."

Shiki: (...)

Shiki: (W-why do I get a feeling this won't end well, like, at all?)

Mario:

Shiki: "N-Neku! That guy you're fighting! Don't tell me i-"

Beat: "No way! Thas' impossible, man!"

Rhyme: "T-they say reality is stranger than fiction! B-but if reality MEETS fiction..."

Joshua: "Ah. Just as I suspected."

Neku: "Wait, what?"

Beat: "Wha-?"

Rhyme: "Erm..."

Shiki: "Huh?"

Joshua: "This all aligns with my hypothesis on trans-dimensional inter relations."

Beat: "Theory o' transital mensional what?"

Shiki: "Josh, you know about this stuff?"

Joshua: "Well, I've always been fascinated with quantum mechanics..."

Rhyme: "Amazing! You're interested in quantum physics too?"

Beat: "Rhyme, you messin wit me? You mean you know bout this trandivinamansional stuff?"

Rhyme: "Hee hee! I didn't read 'The basis of Trans-Dimensional Theory for the pictures, Beat!"

Neku: "(No way. That's a college level book.)

Joshua: "You've excellent taste, young lady."

Rhyme: "Well, gee, thanks! If you don't mind, I'd love to hear that theory you were talking about!"

Joshua: "Certainly."

Joshua: "When I heard our beloved Neku was to embark on this trip, I conceptualized a theory on the alternate dimensions he'd come in contact with. True, it'd been only hypothesis until this point, but given what we've seen here today, it seems more than plausible."

Neku: "(Must...not...get...confused...rrrghh...)

Joshua: "Consider this! Perhaps certain media regarded as 'fictional' in our universe is wholly real in another!"

Beat: "You mean like The Matrix actually happened level real?"

Joshua: "It could be so."

Beat: "Dude, that's messed up."

Shiki: "Wait a minute! So, if fictional stuff can be real in alternate universes, that's wh-"

Joshua: "It would explain why our Neku seems to be fighting the renowned Mario right now."

Rhyme: "Fascinating..."

Beat: "Dude! You mean Neku's fightin' the same guy who kicked Bowser to the curb like 900 times."

Joshua: "Heh heh. Looks like it. Having fun there, Neku?"

Neku: "N-no! Why do I think I called you guys?"

Shiki: "Oh, right! We can totally help you! I've played tons of Mario games!"

Joshua: "Huhn. I suppose you're right."

Beat: "Alright, Phones! Mario's a Goomba-stomping thug who ain't gon' take anyone's crap!"

Neku: "(Gee, talk about reassuring.)

Joshua: "He's veritably challenged the same army by himself multiple times and always won."

Neku: "(And how is it fair that I have to fight this guy?)"

Rhyme: "He's even traveled through space unharmed!"

Neku: "(Ok, what can this guy NOT do?)"

Shiki: "He's also no slouch in a Kart Race, either!"

Neku: "(You have got to be kidding meeee...)"

Neku: "Look, any tips on surviving a fight with him."

Joshua: "Pray."

Neku: "J-Josh!"

Joshua: "Heh heh. Relax. I'm positive I can provide you with something."

Rhyme: "Every opponent has a weak spot, Neku!"

Beat: "True dat!"

Joshua: "Ok, let's see. You'll need to avoid his cape, as it ca reflect your Psychs back at you."

Neku: "Seriously?"

Joshua: "Mm. Secondly, you'll need to avoid his Super Jump Punch, lest you're keen on becoming his personal coin factory."

Neku: "Y-y-yup, I'm good."

Joshua: "Though, you should be able to outspeed him in hand-to-hand combat. Find an opportunity to approach, then strike with Shockwave."

Neku: "A-alright. I'll try. Thanks, guys."

Shiki: "Go get him, Neku!"

Beat: "You got dis!"

Rhyme: "Hmmm."

Joshua: "Something amiss?"

Rhyme: "I was just thinking. If Mario exists in his own dimension..."

Joshua: "Ah. You think perhaps WE are fictional in an alternate dimension?"

Rhyme: "Could it be possible?"

Joshua: "...I'm not sure. Dimensions are tricky things, indeed."

Joshua: "..."

Joshua: "Heh heh. Us as video game characters? At the very least, it's an amusing thought, is it not?"

Luigi:

Beat: "Yo, das' Luigi, ain't it?"

Neku: "That's Mario's green brother, right?"

Joshua: "How insensitive, Neku."

Neku: "What?"

Joshua: "Luigi is far more than a mere green Mario."

Neku: "Hu-Oh, I see now. He's taller."

Joshua: "Not just that."

Neku: "What else-"

Beat: "I can't believe you, man! You're missin' it!"

Neku: "It?"

Beat: "Can't you see, dawg?"

Beat: "Luigi ain't no green Mario! His moustache is a totally different shape, dawg!"

Neku: "Oh, I see."

Joshua: "Wow. Guess it's his destiny to remain the King of Second Bananas."

Neku: "Uhm, what?"

Joshua: "Luigi dwells typically in the shadow of his older brother, Mario. He's rather timid, so it's not often he gets recognization for his hand in assisting Mario's adventures."

Neku: "...Oh..."

Beat: "...T-thas' rough, man."

Joshua: "Maybe so. Yet, Luigi's had his fair share of solo-adventures to compensate."

Neku: "Really? I've never head of any."

Joshua: "He's boasted such classics as Luigi's Mansion, or the ever-innovative Mario is Missing'."

Beat: "You mad, J? There ain't no game called Mario is Missin', yo!"

Neku: "Yeah, I have never even freaking heard of that."

Joshua: "Aww, Neku? Don't you trust your beloved partner?"

Neku: "(Y-you don't have to go around throwing 'beloved' in there! People are gonna thin-)"

Beat: "J, where'd you here this crap, man?"

Joshua: "Hmm? Oh, Mario is Missing? How have you NOT heard of it! It's one of the hallmarks of the Famicom era!"

Neku: "(Somehow I seriously doubt that...)"

Joshua: "It's a masterwork of the video game industry. I HIGHLY recommend it."

Neku: "(If it even exists...)"

Joshua: "Hee hee hee..."

Beat: "Yo! If it's Luigi's game, how come it's got Mario's name in the title, dawg?"

Joshua: "Tragic side effect of being a sidekick."

Beat: "Sucks, dawg."

Joshua: "Perhaps. Though, Luigi's been slowly slipping from his brother's shadow throughout the years. He's even had his own year dedicated to him."

Neku: "(Wait year?!)"

Beat: "Dang, son. A whole year?"

Joshua: "And not just that. Luigi's also been accompanying Mario on more and more adventures as of late."

Beat: "Nothin' beats savin' the world with a sibling, dawg!"

Joshua: "I imagine that's so. At any rate, Neku, Luigi's fighting techniques are remarkably similar to Mario's."

Neku: "Huh. That's a relief."

Joshua: "Though, you'll have to watch out for HIS Super Jump Punch. It has the ability to send someone flying quite easily."

Neku: "A-alright!"

Joshua: "And beware his almighty...down taunt."

Neku: "Down taunt...?"

Beat: "What'chu mean, J?"

Joshua: "Heh heh heh heh. Guess you'll have to find out yourself."

Neku: "Josh!"

Joshua: "Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise, partner."

Neku: "(Rrrgh...)"

Beat: "Ay, yo! Jus' keep a cool head, Phones! Focus on the fight, man!"

Neku: "Guess you're right!"

Neku: "(Though, I'm super curious now. Down taunt? What did he mean?)"

Peach:

Shiki: "The embroidery in that dress is exquisite! And the fabric! So elegant!"

Neku: "(And THAT'S the first thing she notices...)"

Joshua: "Indeed. Quite the color, too."

Shiki: "Yeah! All those pinks really bring out her eyes!"

Joshua: "Completely agreed."

Neku: "(Are you guys serious right now?)"

Shiki: "This MUST be Princess Peach, then!"

Joshua: "It would definitely appear so, based on the Toad she's using as a sentient shield."

Shiki: "I-I'm sure it's not THAT..."

Neku: "Shield or not, where does she even KEEP that Toad?"

Joshua: "That, Neku, is one of the deepest mysteries of the multi-verse."

Neku: "(Yikes. Wouldn't wanna be that Toad...)"

Neku: "(Though, he probably makes the big bucks, working with royalty...)"

Shiki: "A-anyway, she sure is a dignified fighter!"

Joshua: "She's as poised as you'd expect any princess would be."

Shiki: "Yeah! Would you look at the way she wields a frying pan?"

Joshua: "Exceptional form."

Neku: "You guys get weirder every time we hang out..."

Shiki: "Good, weird, right?"

Joshua: "Atleast we keep you on your toes."

Neku: "Yeah, yeah, whatever. How do I fight this chick?"

Shiki: "Maybe you guys could just have tea instead. Seems like she'd be up for it."

Neku: "This is a fighting tournament!"

Joshua: "Life is what you make it, Neku."

Neku: "(This is going nowhere at the speed of light...)"

Shiki: "Though, I'd suggest you watch out for those turnips!"

Neku: "Turnips?"

Shiki: "Yeah, look! She's chucking these things like they're baseballs!"

Joshua: "Ah, deadly vegetables. That's a new one."

Neku: "T-they have faces on them!"

Shiki: "They're actually really cute. I should sew one..."

Joshua: "Though it beggars an interesting question. Can they see and talk?"

Shiki: "You should try to talk to one, Neku!"

Neku: "I am NOT doing that!"

Joshua: "Will you bring one home as a souvenir?"

Neku: "No!"

Joshua: "I suppose it was worth a try."

Shiki: "Always is."

Neku: "(You know, they get along surprisingly well, all things considered.)"

Neku: "(Even if they're bonding over me getting beaten down with turnips with eyes..."


	2. Bowser, Doc, Rosalina, Jr, Koopalings

**AN: These are so fun to write, so I wrote more! Thank you all for your support, and, as always, enjoy. **

Bowser:

Beat: "Whoa, man. You're fightin' freaking Bowser!"

Neku: "(Thanks for reminding me...)"

Beat: "Dude, this ain't good! If you ain't careful, yous' gonna end up golden brown, dawg!"

Shiki: "He's right, Neku! One wrong move could get you destroyed!"

Neku: "(And, thanks for the encouragement, you guys...)"

Neku: "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Don't you guys have any advice?"

Beat: "Don' get eaten."

Shiki: "I'd just jump off the side of the stage, if I were you..."

Neku: "Guys!"

Beat: "Can't blame 'er, man."

Neku: "Whatever. I have to fight this guy for the Tournament, I have no choice!"

Shiki: "B-but he's the KING of Koopas! He has his own army and like 97 lava-filled castles and that collar he's wearing's probably a D.I.B. original!"

Neku: "(Huh. You'd think with all those resources, he'd actually be successful in kidnapping ONE girl...)

Beat: "Shiki's right, Phones! You'd better watch yo'self."

Neku: "Maybe instead of warning me 100 times, you could...I don't know...tell me how to win? Just a thought."

Shiki: "R-right! Uhm, with those huge fists he has, even the simplest of his attacks can send you flying! Be careful of his flame breath, too!"

Beat: "Though, lookin' at him, he don' seem too fast, man."

Shiki: "Yeah. That shell isn't exactly very liberating. Wonder if he's ever considered swapping the scales for linen..."

Neku: "(I seriously doubt he'd ever do that...)

Beat: "Guess yous' just finna hafta' outspeed him, Phones!"

Neku: "Rrrgh...looks like it."

Shiki: "Just keep your distance and use your Force Rounds until you see an opening!"

Neku: "Right!"

Dr. Mario:

Rhyme: "Wow! I didn't know Mario had a PHD!"

Neku: "(I don't think randomly putting on a lab coat qualifies as having a PHD...)"

Joshua: "Indeed he does. He's been a licensed M.D. since 1990."

Neku: "...Seriously?"

Rhyme: "Whoa.. You learn something new every day..."

Neku: "So...he's a plumber...AND a doctor?"

Rhyme: "And a princess-saver!"

Joshua: "And excellent at soccer, tennis, basketball, hosting parties, and kart-racing. He's also no slouch in the space-travel department."

Neku: "(I...is this guy human?)"

Neku: "Why'd he even become a doctor in the first place?"

Joshua: "I would assume it keeps him busy between kidnappings."

Rhyme: "Or maybe he has a passion for medical research!"

Neku: "(Or maybe being a plumber was gross and didn't pay anything. I think I'm pretty much spot-on here...)"

Neku: "Alright, whatever. Why should I care if the guy's suddenly a doctor?"

Joshua: "With that lab coat on, he's got access to a host of new abilities."

Neku: "...Seriously?"

Joshua: "Clothes make a man, I suppose."

Neku: "(Sounds like something Shiki would say...)"

Joshua: "At any rate, Dr Mario's game to launch a barrage of pills your way at any moment."

Neku: "Wait...what?"

Rhyme: "Uhm...pills?"

Joshua: "They're surprisingly effective weapons."

Rhyme: "Guess they're used for fighting MORE than just diseases."

Neku: "(Pills, seriously? This tournament keeps getting weirder and weirder.)"

Joshua: "You'll also need to watch out for his signature Mario-Tornado technique, or your damage percentage will be as high as the resulting medical bill."

Neku: "(Always so reassuring, Joshua...)"

Joshua: "Though, I suppose minding your distance until you've spotted an opening should suffice for you. Doctors aren't typically known for bringing pain."

Neku: "Except when they do that weird throat-test thing..."

Rhyme: "Oh, I know exactly what you mean! I always think they're going to drop the stick down my throat!"

Neku: "(Amen to that, sister.)"

Rhyme: "I guess pain's just a part of the healing process, sometimes."

Joshua: "One cannot feel happiness without first experiencing pain, and all that."

Nekku: "(When did they start getting all philosophical on me? I'm freaking fighting a plumber in a lab coat!)"

Rosalina & Luma:

Neku: "Hey, Shiki. Looks like you're not the only one who carries a stuffed animal around all day."

Shiki: "Hey I resent th-Whoa! You're right! She fights by controlling a plushie with psychokinesis just like me!"

Shiki: "And would you look at the stitching on that cute little guy! It's...seemless! Oh my gosh, Neku! You have to ask her how she did it!"

Neku: "If you didn't notice, she's trying to kill me."

Rhyme: "Uhm...guys. I don't think that's a stuffed animal."

Neku: "Huh?"

Rhyme: "Well, I know that lady. Her name is Rosalina, and that star with her is a Luma."

Shiki: "Luma?"

Rhyme: "Yeah. They may look cute, but when they're all grown up, they change into full blown planets!"

Neku: "What the-?"

Shiki: "They ch-chang-"

Rhyme: "It's how new galaxies are formed. Rosalina travels with the Luma while they look for a place to live when they grow up."

Neku: "(That little thing is gonna be a whole planet one day?)"

Neku: "(Wait a minute! I'M literally beating the crap out of a FUTURE PLANET?"

Shiki: "H-how do you know this, Rhyme?"

Rhyme: "Lots of Super Mario Galaxy, with my brother. That's where Rosalina and the Luma debuted."

Neku: "Does she normally use these things as sentient shields?"

Rhyme: "Uhm...I wouldn't exactly describe it like that...Rosalina is the adoptive mother of all Luma. She cares for and watches over not only them, but all of the cosmos. Any of them would be happy to fight for her."

Neku: "The cosmos?"

Rhyme: "Yup. She's sort of the guardian of the entire galaxy."

Neku: "(...Why is this tournament full of all-powerful beings?)"

Neku: "T-then, how am I supposed to fight this chick?"

Rhyme: "When there's a will, there's a way!"

Neku: "(A way to get the crap kicked out of me, maybe...)"

Shiki: "Well, I can't fight without Mr Mew. Maybe if you try getting rid of Luma, then Rosalina won't be as tough!"

Neku: "Huh. Guess I'll try that."

Rhyme: "She definetley seems the sort who'd be reluctant to resort to violence..."

Shiki: "Oh, I know, right? Something about her is so calming!"

Rhyme: "Sure is!"

Shiki: "Makes me just wanna sit back and have her read me a storybook, or something."

Neku: "(Seriously? I'm in the middle of a fight here! It's not story time!)"

Neku: "(Though, something tells me this Rosalina lady'd be pretty good at something like that...)"

Bowser Jr:

Beat: "Ay, Phones! You know who 'dat punk is?"

Neku: "Some kind of laughably adorable version of Bowser?"

Beat: "Thas' his son, man! He gon' be King o' the Koopas one day."

Neku: "(That shrimp doesn't look like he could rule a dollhouse.)"

Neku: "So? He's just a kid."

Rhyme: "I wouldn't count him out just yet, Neku. Bowser Jr.'s one tough customer."

Neku: "Bowser Juinor? Seriously?"

Rhyme: "Someone has to carry on the family name."

Neku: "(Seems kinda narcissistic to me...)"

Beat: "And Bowsa' Juina' may look like some wimpy lil' punk, but he's actually fricking vicsous, dawg!"

Neku: "Hehe...do you expect me to believe that?"

Beat: "I'm serious, man!"

Neku: "How can a thing that rides in a clown car be considered remotely vicsous?"

Beat: "Don'chu be trashin' his dope ride, man!"

Neku: "(Dope ride...?)"

Rhyme: "That clown car is actually incredibly versatile! It's got compartments for a whole bunch of different weapons and artillery!''

Neku: "A-artillery? Like what?"

Rhyme: "...forks...tongues...robotic minature koopas..."

Neku: "(Uhm, was whoever picked out these weapons high?)"

Rhyme: "Oh! There's some razor blades in there too, and it can launch cannonballs!"

Neku: "(...nevermind...)

Beat: "That dope clown car's unpredictable, man! If you don' watch his moves, you done."

Neku: "Alright. So maybe the little squirt's not a complete wimp. What can I do to take 'em down?"

Rhyme: "Play it safe and look for an opening through his projectiles. You can't rush just straight for him; haste makes waste."

Beat: "Keep yo' guard up there, Phones!"

Neku: "Right!"

Neku: "(...)"

Neku: "(...I'm getting a weird sense of deja vu, here...)"

Koopalings:

Neku: "What the heck is that weird thing?"

Beat: "Thas' a Koopalin', man!"

Rhyme: "The Koopalings are Bowser's children. Guess you can see the family resemblance."

Neku: "I'll say."

Neku: "Though, I never begged Bowser the type to have kids..."

Rhyme: "I bet he's got a secret soft spot for them all..."

Beat: "Word, dawg! Why else would he deck 'em all out with those dope clown cars?"

Neku: "(I wouldn't call THOSE things dope...)"

Neku: "Speaking of which, what the heck does that freaky car even do?"

Rhyme: "It's actually quite versatile! It's got compartments for all sorts of different weapons!"

Neku: "Seriously?!"

Rhyme: "Yup! It's got a built-in fork! And even it's own self-destruct mechanism!"

Neku: "(So much for weapons...)"

Rhyme: "Oh! And it can shoot cannonballs! I also hear these models come equipped with hidden blades."

Neku: "(...that escalated quickly...)

Beat: "Those things musta' been expensive, man!"

Rhyme: "And he got them for all of his kids..."

Neku: "Just how many kids does Bowser HAVE exactly."

Beat: "Like, a metric ton, man!"

Neku: "(...wasn't expecting that...)"

Rhyme: "The more the merrier!"

Beat: "Must be weird, livin' in that household."

Rhyme: "I don't know. I really like big families."

Neku: "(Seems like a hassle to me.)"

Neku: "So, what can I do to take these weirdos down?"

Rhyme: "Keep your distance and wait for an opening! Haste makes waste!"

Neku: "Right!"

Neku: "(...wow, deja vu again...)"


	3. Samus, ZSS

** AN: Happy Pi-Day, folks! To celebrate this momentous day, here's a chapter featuring everyone's favorite math-crazed Reaper. Enjoy!**

Neku: "Yo. You guys there?"

Neku "...Guys...?"

?: "GREETINGS, BINOMIAL!"

Neku: "Holy crap! What the actual-"

Minamimoto: "Tis' I! The great Sho-Minamimoto! Did you miss me, binomial?"

Neku: "Pi-Face? What the heck? How'd you get this number?"

Minamimoto: "Signs Of Happiness Come After Having Tankards Of Ale."

Neku: "...Gee, thanks, _that_ explains everything."

Minamimoto: "Save your sass, binomial! I'm here to help you!"

Neku: "Ya know, you didn't answer my questi-"

Minamimoto: "Shuddup, you zetta moron! You should be on your knees right now!"

Neku: "Oh God. Why?"

Minamimoto: "Thanking me! Instead of the hectopascals you usually talk to, I'LL be the one giving you fighting advice today!"

Neku: "Oh God. WHYYYYY?"

Minamimoto: "Because, today is the most glorious day on the whole factoring calendar! It's Pi-Day!"

Neku: "Pi-Day? That's a thing?"

Minamimoto: "Of course it is! It's as i^2 as you can get!"

Neku: "Well, whatever. I don't really care about some stupid math-nerd day."

Minamimoto: "C'mon, Sakuraba! Don't be...IRRATIONAL!"

Neku: "..."

Minamimoto: "Bahaha! I'm a zetta genius!"

Neku: "...Riiiiiight. Now, if you could just go be annoying somewhere else, than that'd be just peachy."

Minamimoto: "Ha! As if, binomial! You seCAN'T get rid of me that easily!"

Neku: "Ugh, whatever. Just don't get in my way."

Neku: "(...)"

Neku: "(I've got a bad feeling about this...)"

Samus:

Neku: "Holy crap. Who's that robot-dude?"

Minamimoto: "Hah! You really are zetta stupid!"

Neku: "Ok, where did THAT come from?"

Minamimoto: "00WX002W000041TW1o0000lD!"

Neku: "...What?"

Minamimoto: "mMuiS1ll6- GEJls?h0M00WRM! 000000000020000000000020? Really, how stupid can you be?"

Neku: "Dude, are you even trying to make sense right now?"

Minamimoto: "Of course I am! It's not my fault that you're too zetta slow to know what a Justin Bailey is!"

Neku: "...Justin Bailey...?"

Minamimoto: "Haha! You're fighting Samus, you hectopascal! And the square root of that cold, iron suit happens to be a zetta sexy lady!"

Neku: "Seriously?"

Minamimoto: "You bet! And, even though she's an X^2, her butt-kicking abilities are approximately equal to that of most any man in the world!"

Minamimoto: "Except yours truly, of course."

Neku: "(Somehow I seriously doubt that...)"

Neku: "Great. Any tips on how to take her down, All-Powerful-Pi-Face?"

Minamimoto: "Personally, I'm hoping you zetta die!"

Neku: "..."

Minamimoto: "It'd make things a lot easier for me!"

Neku: "Well, I'm not dying anytime soon, so, suck it."

Minamimoto: "Don't get too confident, binomial! Samus is an interstellar bounty huntress. She's neutralized countless galactic threats all by herself!"

Neku: "Whoa...that's actually pretty sick..."

Neku: "But I still gotta fight this chick. So, are you going to actually help me or what?"

Minamimoto: "Fine, binomial! But only so you understand the ramifications of Pi-Day!"

Minamimoto: "As you could probably zetta guess, Samus's projectiles are like the square root of Pi itself."

Neku: "...?"

Minamimoto: "They never end!"

Neku: "Okay, that was totally lame..."

Minamimoto: "No...it was radical!"

Neku: "Do you ever get tired of this crap?"

Minamimoto: "Never! My passion for math is like Pi itself!"

Neku: "Ugh, whatever. Go on."

Minamimoto: "As I was zetta saying, Samus's got a metric ton of projectiles to keep you at bay. But, that's not all! Her physical strength is amazing, so even when she's at close range she'll multiply your damage!"

Neku: "Then what do I freaking do?"

Minamimoto: "Haha! There's nothing you can do!"

Neku: "Dude!"

Minamimoto: "Fine, binomial! Being cooped up in that Varia Suit leaves Samus...wait for it..."

Minamimoto: "_**So zetta slow**!_"

Neku: "...Riiiiight. So, I should try to outspeed her then?"

Minamimoto: "You got it, hectopascal!"

Neku: "Alright then, I'll give it a go!"

Neku: "But, wait a minute. What was that whole Justin Bailey thing you were blabbing about earlier?"

Minamimoto: "Hahaha! As if I'd tell a binomial like you!"

Zero Suit Samus:

Neku: "So, this is Samus without her armor on?"

Neku: "...Dang..."

Minamimoto: "That's right! And, despite her zetta sexy figure, she's still incredibly formidable. Just like Konishi!"

Minamimoto: "...Aw crap. Did I say that out-zetta-loud?"

Neku: "Pffttt...yup."

Minamimoto: "You heard nothing, hectopascal! If you ever speak of this again, I'll add YOUR BODY to the heap!"

Neku: "Ew, I don't wanna be one of your lame sculptures."

Minamimoto: "My sculptures aren't lame! They're zetta art!"

Neku: "(Then we must have insanely different definitions of the word 'art'.)"

Minamimoto: "Anyway, while Samus is in her 'Zero Suit', her entire fight-style changes!"

Minamimoto: "Without her armor, she's quick and agile."

Neku: "Heh, even with those heels? They look like they'd hurt more to wear than be kicked with."

Minamimoto: "Those aren't everyday-heels, you zetta moron! They're rocket-heels!"

Neku: "What the-?"

Minamimoto: "Not only do they let her cover distance in a flash, they also give her excellent recovering abilities!"

Neku: "(...I stand corrected...)"

Neku: "Freaking perfect. What can I do to win?"

Minamimoto: "Keep your guard up, hectopascal! Wait for her to miscalculate, and use the opening to your advantage!"

Neku: "I'll try my best."

Neku: "...Thanks Pi-Face."

Neku: "(Wow. Never thought I'd be saying that.)"

Minamimoto: "This is a world of numbers, Sakuraba. When you need a solution, all you've gotta do is a little bit of math."

Neku: "...Yea-"

Minamimoto: "So, I'm off to calculate your demise! Happy Pi-Day, you factoring bisector!"

Neku: "(...)"

Neku: "(Well...that was interesting.)"


End file.
